Let me give you a little bit of context. It is the beginning of the Easter holidays and let me tell you, I have had a whirlwind term. I feel I have achieved a lot this term and I have had some really great experiences (*thanks agent for helping me win the Oscar*) but it has left me exhausted. Like, the kind of tired where you get actual physical responses from your body that require ibuprofen and Sudocrem. I literally feel like I could go full flamingo and just sleep standing on one leg at this point with how much sleep I need to catch up on. So that’s where we’re at.

I am thus not really in the mood for high literature on this first weekend of the Easter holidays. I need something light, something adorable, something where I love the main character’s aesthetic so much that I fall into a Pinterest void whilst looking at said aesthetic. And for me, this came in the form of ‘To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before’ by Jenny Han.

For those of you who do not know, ‘To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before’ is about a teenage girl called Lara Jean who lives with her dad and two sisters and is very much characterised as an endearing, arts and crafts-loving introvert. When she has a crush, of which there have been five, she writes them a love letter, addresses it and puts it in a box – never to be sent but just as a way to let it all out. One day, her love letters get mysteriously sent out and one of the recipients, Josh (the boyfriend of Lara Jean’s older sister Margot – drama I know) goes to approach Lara Jean about it. To avoid the inevitable awkwardness from proclaiming your undying love for your sister’s boyfriend (a relatable circumstance I’m sure), Lara Jean pretends to be in a relationship with another love letter recipient Peter, who wants to make his ex-girlfriend jealous, so it works for him. Not to mention, said ex-girlfriend is Lara Jean’s ex-best friend. Antics ensue.

I have watched the Netflix film version of this book and I very much enjoyed it. The main character aesthetic was FULLY realised and I was HERE FOR IT and also, I don’t mean to objectify him, but Noah Centineo doesn’t exactly make it a difficult film to watch. I like to watch this film when I’m in need of uplifting, as a nice Friday night little comfort blanket (clearly I live a wild and rebellious existence). So I was expecting good things from this book. And I was not disappointed.

This book is very sweet. It’s full of little details, just about Lara Jean and her family baking (which they do a lot, their house must smell really nice) or maybe they’re going on a weekly food shop, but I loved the relationship that Han created between the three sisters. My sister and I, as we have both read the book, have been quite frequently cooing over how sweet their family is and all their arts and crafts and baking and little gestures they do for each other. Something I really picked up on was Lara Jean’s attention to detail – she picks out outfits the night before, her meals are described in infinite, scrumptious detail, she brings people drinks and food and Korean face masks to make them feel better. It was somehow really satisfying and made me want to be detailed and creative or make some kind of beautifully organised, colour-coded, washi-taped list. She was just a character full of little details and I really liked that.

I felt that the characterisation of Lara Jean’s older sister, Margot, was slightly rushed and a little too overt in the film but I thought her organisation and strong sense of responsibility were more subtly characterised in the book. In the film, Margot almost just becomes someone to compare Lara Jean to or someone to advance the plot in terms of Lara Jean’s relationship with their neighbour, letter recipient and Margot’s boyfriend Josh but she was a much more complex character in the book. In the book, there’s this moment where Lara Jean sees Margot cry without her knowing it and Margot is hurt by her sisters doing their Christmas traditions whilst she is away at university – Margot comes across as a little stoic at times in the film but we really see her vulnerabilities in the book, which was nice. Also, as a fellow goody two shoes myself, it was nice to see a character like Margot to not be portrayed like an uptight stereotype and instead, as an actual human being with complexities and emotions.

Also, the whole dead mum plot was much better handled in the book than in the film. Within the first probably 2 minutes of the film, Kitty, Lara Jean’s youngest sister, exclaims something like, “BUT I WAS ONLY A BABY WHEN MOM DIED” and suddenly we have a Tragic Back Story. Admittedly, the film doesn’t suddenly become All Roads Lead To The Loss Of My Mother and it is used as a way for Lara Jean and Peter to bond later on but I thought that could have been embedded slightly better than a hasty announcement and an A1 sized picture of a motherly looking portrait on the wall. I understand the limitations of screen time but there is no need to whack this aspect of the plot on a big old flashing sign and the book does not do this, tending to bring it in in much more subtle ways, such as to explore Margot’s depth of character in her role as a substitute mother and how Lara Jean relates to that. Wow, all roads lead to Margot.

But what carries through both the film and the book is just the genuinely good nature of Peter Kavinsky. In the film, he moves the popcorn responsibly before having a pillow fight with his girlfriend’s younger sister and in the book, he compliments Lara Jean’s Cho Chang costume and just looks at her THE WAY ALL GIRLS WANT TO BE LOOKED AT. The iconic pocket spin moment and the love notes were not there in their exact form in the book but the romantic tone of them were carried through in other ways, making Peter just as loveable as ever. And the hot tub scene did not disappoint. Tastefully written, backed by enough development of their relationship, adorable. Class bit of writing from Jenny Han there.

The one thing I would say is that I was left totally unsatisfied by the ending. SPOILER ALERT but the ending is not wrapped up at all and we do not get the rom-com satisfaction that the film ending gives us. I have now started reading the second book in the trilogy (‘P.S. I Still Love You’) and have found that a lot of stuff that happens at the end of the film of the first book actually happens in the second book – Lara Jean writing her final love letter to Peter, them getting together for real, the whole hot tub sex tape situation (which sounds extremely odd out of context). I was just left unfulfilled by the ending of the first book. I was speeding towards the final few pages, expecting an adorable reunion to light the fire in my rom-com-loving heart but instead it just ends with Lara Jean ADDRESSING her final letter to Peter. ADDRESSING. Not even into the main body paragraph yet, where the good stuff happens and they have a fantastic reunion on a lacrosse field and my heart bursts. I just felt that adding all that stuff from the second book into the first film gave the film a more rounded ending, whereas having it all at the start of the second book felt like we were sort of cleaning up after the events of the first book, rather than beginning a new aspect of the story. Maybe it’s a good thing that the books are sort of subverting a typical ending and it’s true, the second book definitely explores some more sticky parts of Lara Jean and Peter’s relationship, rather than just the picture perfect ending they have at the end of the first film. This approach did work well in some ways but I just wanted more rom-com goodness to it.

I absolutely flew through this book – I started on Friday evening and had finished it by Saturday morning, so it is a very easy read. It was exactly what I needed – light, adorable and somewhat relevant in my own life. For some reason, I sort of felt ashamed, almost guilty, that I was reading it, that I wasn’t reading ‘The Mill on the Floss’, the book waiting for me from my English Literature reading list, or ‘Gone With The Wind’ (which I am literally taking decades to get through). Although I enjoy these kinds of books, it was nice to step back from them and read a good YA rom-com. I carpe-d the hell out of my diem and just read what I felt like reading (*Spice Up Your Life plays in the background*). And that’s what reading should be about – reading the books you feel like reading, balancing school and pleasure reading, finding characters you can truly know and relate to. That’s what it’s all about.

So what I took away from this is that it’s OK to give yourself a break. Not everything I do has to be for school, therefore not everything I read has to be for school. I was at the end of my tether after this term, I was physically and mentally exhausted and I needed a break. This book gave that to me, with its to die for aesthetic, adorable relationships and detailed, relatable characters. Didn’t mean to get that deep but yeah, to summarise – this was a good book that put me in a good mood and it will for you too!

I am going to try not to be ashamed of what I’m reading – I do not have to prove myself by reading certain things and although that English Literature reading list needs to be done (and I know I’ll enjoy doing it), it’s good to recognise when to take a break. Watch your favourite film for the tenth time, read your favourite book until it falls apart, make a disproportionately large amount of baked goods. Who cares? It makes you happy, and that’s all that matters.

Yours in love of rom-coms,

Sophie